If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
