even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
