Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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