I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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