The maid of honor just puked.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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