If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
where are you?
Hypothermia
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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