Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
