we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
