thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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