Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
