just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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