...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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