Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
