i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I lost the right to judge tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
