Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My vagina is very pro this idea
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
