Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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