After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
