You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
