so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
