Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
