Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
