weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
