I wish I could teleport
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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