So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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