is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
