apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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