You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
