Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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