So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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