i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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