I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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