she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So apparently I’m into choking now
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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