you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
