Christians are straight up FREAKS
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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