I want to stick my p in your. b.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
