Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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