im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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