Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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