Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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