If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
