South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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