and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
