her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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