I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
