strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
