Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
