i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
