My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
