Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
