doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
